You Know We're Lost
by lauracathrine1x
Summary: Written as if Beth and Daryl had never been interrupted by walkers at the door that night in the kitchen, they're alone and surviving together, all the while their chemistry builds as they grow closer and fall in love. Content warning: graphic/explicit sex later on in the story
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"What changed your mind?" she smiled. As they sat in the candle lit kitchen Beth wished Daryl would say it. The way he looked at her so intensely, she could see it in his eyes that he wanted to say: "You… You changed my mind. That people could be good." He just shrugged, pretending he didn't know. The way he moved his head showed his boyish embarrassment. "Oh…" she said. It was odd to see him struggling. She wanted to reach out and touch him. The thought made her stomach muscles tense unbearably. Warm silence followed, only punctuated by the sound of Daryl licking his spoon.

The tripwire across the porch outside jangled. The sound of the empty tins made icy cold dread trickle down Beth's spine. She prayed that it was just that stray mutt showing up again. Daryl grabbed the jar of pigs feet and slung his crossbow over his broad shoulder, bounding into the hallway.

As soon as he was out of Beth's sight he felt ashamed that he couldn't even tell her the truth, in their time together she'd changed him, little by little. And he'd almost let her in, but he just couldn't. 'A grown ass man your age should have a bigger set of balls!' he berated himself internally as he creaked the front door open. That dirty ragged ol' mutt was back. "Beth, fuckin' dog's back." He said quietly, not wanting his voice to be heard echoing out in the night. She walked up quietly behind Daryl, peeping past him to catch a glimpse of the dog. He enticed it in with a mixture of pigs feet scraps and scratches behind its soft raggedy ears, then shut the door gently.

"I think we got us a pet." Beth grinned. "Hey Daryl?" she looked up at him all of a sudden, her pale skin blushing slightly. "Yeah..?" his deep voice was rough now. "I know what you wanted to say, and its okay." He paused, taken aback. He still didn't understand his feelings for her, that he wanted to protect her, make her feel like she could handle herself out there, in that moment he felt she understood. The way she looked at him with nothing but truth in her big blue eyes, he wanted to feel her, he wanted her vulnerable only to him… 'No, no, no!' he thought. 'She's so young, you fuckin' dick, you shouldn't be eyein' her like that!' he looked away. "Are you okay?" Beth asked. "Yeah, let's go find somewhere to sleep." Daryl said dismissively.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

They walked up the polished wooden staircase in silence, only able to hear each others breathing and footsteps, not to mention the occasional creak of a floor board. Beth gripped her torch with cold hands. Despite her anxiety, a spacious landing presented itself to them at the top of the stairs. Four dark oak doors were set into the wall at equal intervals. It was neat, too neat. "Told you someone's been tendin' to this place." Daryl said, opening each door in turn and scouting inside for threats. "Ain't nothin'." He whispered, half expecting a nasty surprise behind the last one. He turned the handle. And slowly swung the door inwards. Nothing. He went inside. Beth followed, not sensing any immediate danger. "Woah…" she gasped. A makeshift bedroom had been set up, very basic, no finery, with plain white sheets and cream unsmattered walls. There was no sign of any recent wear and tear.

Daryl looked out of the window towards the graveyard beyond, there was nothing scary about it, not even in the dark, the folks buried there weren't no monsters. He thought about Hershal, the flowers from earlier, the way Beth had held his hand. 'Shiit, the most women ever did was hold my dick.' He mused to himself, trying to distract from the pain in his chest when his mind wondered to Rick, Maggie, Carl, their family. Light from the full silvery moon shone through the glass, highlighting the shape of his jaw beneath his facial hair. Beth asked herself how it would feel beneath her soft fingertips. She looked away quickly, gulping.

Daryl turned back towards her and noticed that she'd begun burning emergency candles instead of fumbling with a torch, he drew the curtains. The room was well lit now. Enough to see she'd taken off her boots and socks, little bare feet padding along the wooden floor, one was half bound in gauze. He was no foot fetishist, but for some reason, he found them cute. "Your ankle feelin' any better?" he asked. "A little, I can put more weight on it now, thank you for fixin' me up Mr. Dixon." She said sweetly. Daryl nodded in response. Her smile faded. "Well I'm goin' to try getting' some sleep, even if you're not." She jibed affectionately as she hastily took off her gun belt and unfastened her pants. Daryl looked away, not wanting to embarrass her. She blushed bright red and pulled them down her pale legs. "Can't get comfy with jeans on…" she tried to laugh. "Yeah…" he wished he could have looked, and had no idea how he'd stopped himself. Clearing his throat, he shifted from one foot to the other.

"It's okay Daryl, I'm still decent." Beth said quietly. He faced her, and saw that she was wearing tiny pink panties, partially covered by her shirt, nothing too racy, but it didn't soften his growing curiosity. She climbed into the plain sheets and let out a satisfied mew. "I'ma just sleep over here." He said. "Nooo, Daryl, stay with me. Please." She said, holding out her hand. He tensed visibly. Their eyes locked. His fingers played around his lips and he looked deep in thought. The candles flickered in his blue eyes as he stared at her. His gaze seemed to soften. 'What the fuck am I doing?!' his inner monologue shouted. Beth felt the knot in her chest give way as Daryl stood, shrugging off his jacket and outer layers. She watched as he pulled off his heavy boots, and was left in old ripped jeans and a sleeveless shirt. "You're freezin' girl." He said as he took her hand in his, letting her pull him in.

He lay next to her on top of the thin duvet. "You're not getting' in?" she asked. "Naww, I gotta keep watch." Came his reply. "Mkay.." Beth whispered as she melted against his side. He realised this was the first time he'd been on a bed with a woman and not fucked.

Her head came to rest gently against his muscular shoulder. He paused for a long moment, looking across at her. 'She's beautiful…' he thought, then grimaced, feeling like a pussy. "I've been thinkin'." She broached suddenly. "Yeah?" A beat of silence filled the air. "About everyone, if they're… Like you said.." Beth edged, sounding tearful. This bothered him a whole fucking bunch. He put a strong tanned arm around her and held her there. She looked up at him, tears beginning to spill. It made him angry, that she had to suffer at all, he didn't want that for her. "Just ignore me, I can be a dick, not just when I'm drunk." His voice was low and deep, vibrating in his throat. Beth's proximity to the source of this sound made her body heat up considerably. She tingled somewhere too rude to mention.

Sometimes he was so incredibly masculine. It was unnerving. She wondered if he knew it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Beth awoke suddenly to a clattering sound, it was still dark and the emergency candles were burning low. Her bleary eyes adjusted to the gloom. There was a warm comforting pressure on her stomach, Daryl's big calloused hand was resting palm down against her. Lips twitching into a half smile she leaned up on her elbows, allowing his arm to fall gently from around her. His expression in sleep was peaceful, more than the nights of heavy silence then deafening fear out in the woods. While he was vulnerable like that she could admit it to herself. He was the most handsome man she'd ever seen. Not that it counted for much, she wasn't exactly experienced.

The clattering sounds started up again. "Daryl." She whispered, nudging him. He shifted and groaned. "Whut?" he rumbled. "I can hear somethin' downstairs!" Beth said urgently. "The fuck…" he muttered as he jumped from the bed and put his layers and boots back on. "Stay." He said louder, gesturing for her not to follow him. He grabbed his crossbow and slung it over his shoulder, stuffing something into his jeans pocket before shutting the door silently behind him. His footsteps were inaudible.

Beth slipped from beneath the duvet with caution, searching for her socks and jeans. At last she found them, pulled them on and was back into her ol' boots. She grabbed her knife, having failed to find her gun belt. Not being able to stand the idea of him going to investigate alone she opened the door, wincing as the floor boards creaked. She had no stealth. Her heart raced. The darkness was almost total, but for the moonlight sifting in. 'Where is he?' she wondered, listening for the slightest sounds. She reached out for the stairs banister. It was cold and smooth. "Daryl?" she called. "I thought I told you to stay." His deep voice echoed from wall to wall. He stepped out of the shadows by the boarded front door, looking up at her. He saw her wide eyed expression and softened. "Just a walker bumpin' into the porch. Dumb ass fucked off back to the forest." He said, slightly entertained. "I thought you might want some help." She said quietly. "Nope." Came his reply.

He didn't want her in the way of any danger. The world was probably fucked, and it wasn't taking her with it. Not while he had life in his body. Beth ran down the stairs after him as he made strides into the still glowing kitchen. The candles were flickering but visibility was still good. "Have you seen my…" she began. Daryl held up her belt before she'd even finished her sentence. "Borrowed it. Ain't much ammo." He glared at her. Grabbing it she leaned back against the counter and passed it around her waist. Before she could argue he was in front of her, his hands replacing Beth's. She daren't look up. The room seemed to spin. Feeling his hands brushing against her lower abdomen, tugging her forwards slightly as he secured the belt hole, forcing her hips to tilt upwards. Electricity was coursing through her body and hitting hard between her legs. She was starting to ache deep inside…

All too swiftly he pulled away, abruptly dropping his arms to his sides and snagging a chair at the other end of the table. Beth's head snapped upwards, catching a glimpse of his slightly red cheeks. 'Is he blushing?' she wondered incredulously.

Daryl wanted to kick his own ass for that shit he'd just pulled. He'd heard her breathing get faster, he saw how her hips moved when he touched her, but he couldn't, just couldn't accept that she might want him. He felt bad for making her act that way, and he felt even worse at his own arousal. 'I'm goin' straight to hell." He sighed to himself. She was worth more than a brief fuck in some abandoned funeral home, and she was worth more than him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The sun was on the rise in the east. A dewy mist still clung on around them as they prepared for an ammo run. "Got everythin'?" Daryl asked. "Yeah, not much." Replied Beth, shaking their mostly empty back pack pointedly, only the faint papery sounds of cash wads and the jingling of small bits of metal could be heard inside.

The kitchen was as fully stocked as it could be, but they were low on everything else. She watched as he loaded an arrow bolt into his crossbow and pulled back the string. His hands were strong and expert. "We need another gun, you can't keep takin' mine." She interrupted him. "I saw some stores by the road on the other side of the woods, should be good." He said. "There'll be guns there?" she asked, wondering. "Yeah." He replied.

They set off walking through the expansive graveyard, side by side. "Hey, Daryl, you never said. Why did you keep the money and jewellery from the country club? It's not as if we need it now." He looked at her, deep in thought, his eyes narrowing in the milky light. She waited, limping slightly as she moved. He wanted to tell her that he wished he could use it one day, for a fresh start, he wanted the things normal guys his age had. Whatever the fuck normal was anymore. Not that he'd ever had 'normal'. It was a dumb idea anyway, but one he couldn't kill. "I dunno." Daryl shrugged. Beth smiled at him as he chewed on his lip. "Yeah you do." She said. "Its stupid." He grumbled. "I bet its not." She bumped his upper arm gently with her shoulder. He almost smiled. "Just, just if I need it, is all." He spoke, staring straight ahead. Beth's lips parted, a thought dawning on her. "I knew it, you do still have hope!" she exclaimed triumphantly. "Yeahh, well don't fuckin' shout about it." He warned. The threat in his voice made her tingle again. She noticed Daryl stop, the pleasure between her legs quickly fading away. He squatted to the ground, examining the damp grass closely. His fingers traced invisible lines. "What is it?" Beth edged, nervous. Looking up from him she saw the pale gravestone from yesterday, now adorned with a single bloody hand print. Droplets of vermillion had run down and soaked into the words: NOV 12TH 1837 – DEC 10TH 1874 BELOVED FATHER. Her flesh prickled with goose bumps and a strange creeping sensation wound its way up her spine. Stranger still, the pretty flowering weed Daryl had previously placed there was gone. In a moment he was at her side, pulling her away carefully. "C'mon, let's keep movin'..." he said, close to her ear.

"What was that?" she stared up at him, her blue eyes shining with confusion. "I dunno, but somethin' ain't right. Stay close or its on us." As they walked on past the other unassuming graves he couldn't fight the feeling of being watched, and he didn't like it one bit.

'What the fuck?' Beth thought, gripping her knife tightly. She could see Daryl was tense beside her. It put her on edge. She desired nothing more than to be sleeping next to him once again, to feel his calm breathing, but they couldn't do that. Maybe she'd dreamed it. Leaving her visions of him behind, something drew her eye.

A few paces away just before them, where the woods and the graveyard joined lay a body, coming into stark view as they got closer. It was a blood soaked mess, stomach ripped asunder, insides torn out and strewn on the splattered grass. Beth forced herself forward, sadness welling up in her chest. The jaw was stoppered in the shape of a silent scream but the corpse had no face to speak of, its identity eaten away. "Oh my God…" she whispered through suddenly dry lips. Daryl stood behind her, letting her lean back on his chest. He could feel her trembling, and wondered if she was thinking of her father. "C'mon, we need to keep movin'." He encouraged. For the first time in a long time he felt sick to his stomach at the sight before him, he needed Beth away from danger, he loved that innocence about her, and didn't want her near all the fuckin' ugly shit fillin' the world. It cost him to admit it to himself. She followed him into the trees, taking his hand as he steadied her path through. Looking back she sighed deeply. "We'll come back." He squeezed her hand tighter, interlocking her little fingers with his.

It seemed they'd been in the woods for hours. The humidity began to increase as they navigated the thick undergrowth and fallen branches. Now and again there was a rustling nearby. It had started to become unnerving. A twig cracked. And another. They stopped, hearing it again. Beth's heart was beating out of her chest. With every thump a second slipped by. The foliage to their left began to quiver, ghostly hands moving the leaves. Suddenly an awful groan clawed its way into her ears.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

A tattered looking man stumbled out of the undergrowth. He was alive but clutching his shoulder. He winced and groaned as his arm swung limp at his side. Daryl put himself between the stranger and Beth, crossbow aimed and ready. "Please, please…!" the man began to sob, his complexion was deathly and drawn. "I, I need to find my wife!" he went in desperation. "You bit?" Daryl asked harshly. The man nodded, broken. His knees gave way as tears ran down his dirty face. "When?" Daryl challenged again. "Last night, a herd overran our camp, my wife ran into the woods this way. I, I tried, to protect her, but…"

In the ensuing silence only punctuated by hopeless sobs Beth had a distinctive sinking feeling. She considered the body on the edge of the forest. 'Could it be?' she asked herself. There was no way of knowing and by the look of him, the man was close to death. "I'm going to turn aren't I?" he whispered. Beth rushed forward, crouching next to him and looking him in the eye. "We'll stay with you until its time." She said quietly. Daryl relaxed, lowering his crossbow. But he stood close to her, just in case. "What's your name sir?" she asked. "G-Greg." He replied, wheezing in pain. Greg looked up at Daryl and addressed him shakily. "You're really lucky man, this girl is something special." Daryl shifted where he stood, looking extremely uncomfortable. The soft spot Beth had opened up inside him suddenly felt immense pressure. 'Is that how it looks from the outside?' he thought, not being able to believe someone saw him as good enough for her. He wondered how she felt about it, probably embarrassed. A knot twisted in his stomach.

Knowing he was in his final moments Beth held Greg's hand, she couldn't look up, her cheeks felt red hot. The idea of Daryl being hers was overwhelming. Butterflies unfurled their violently beating wings in her abdomen, snuffed out by the realisation that nothing like that would ever happen between them. Her chest ached. She stared at the ground. In her distraction she'd barely noticed Greg had slumped forward. She checked his pulse. Nothing. He was dead. Finally looking up at Daryl he saw the request in her eyes, she didn't want to do it. He stepped forward and stabbed the man through the eye socket. 'Poor motherfucker.' He mused sadly. He was used to being a hunter, and used to things being ugly, but he'd never accept himself as a killer. He was just doin' what needed to be done, these monsters weren't even alive. Trying to convince himself that he'd spared Greg of becoming a waking nightmare he led Beth onwards toward the road.

When they came out on the other side of the woods bright sunlight greeted them. A warm breeze caressed Beth's pale skin, soothing her a little. She watched as damp tendrils of Daryl's hair flittered very slightly. He noticed her gaze. She turned away and walked towards some little buildings. Just as he'd said, over the road were a collection of small shops. The fronts were scruffy and unkempt. They made their way into an old convenience store. The inside smelled fusty, like the door hadn't been opened in years. Daryl immediately jumped over the counter and rifled the cash register. Beth rolled her eyes and smiled.

While gathering essentials she started to think about the days when she would go shopping with Maggie, years after her sister had returned from college. She used to buy her a packet of her favourite chocolates every time, mostly out of guilt. It hurt to revisit those memories. But as she climbed to reach a top shelf scattered with a few dusty bottles of shampoo, she remembered how they'd laugh about the guys in Beth's classes. It seemed silly now, or maybe she'd just come to learn what a real man was.

Daryl came to find her, holding three guns and a plastic bag full of ammo in his fists. "You gone quiet." He edged, narrowing his eyes in concern. "Woah! Where did you get those?" she exclaimed. "These places always keep em behind the counter." He told her. Beth handed him the shampoo bottles and the other stuff she'd collected. "Is there anywhere to wash at the home?" she asked shyly. "Umm, yeah, first door I opened upstairs, nothin' special." He replied. "Good! Put all that in the bag." She said, imagining hot water running all over her. 'I love the country but dang my skin is dirty.' Beth thought with a shudder.

Daryl shoved the supplies into their back pack. He gulped, mustering some confidence. "Sure you're okay?" his deep voice gentler than usual. She turned to him, pursing her lips. Not knowing where to start. "I, I'm glad I'm not alone. I'm glad I have you." She said, blushing wildly. Emotion seemed to explode inside her. She threw herself against him and draped her arms around his strong neck. At first he didn't know whether to hug her back, but his arms slowly found their way around her waist. It felt warm and intimate somehow, he held her little body and for the first time he felt safe. They began to part, suddenly self conscious. As Beth moved Daryl's facial hair scratched her soft cheek, it tickled. She almost giggled. But the serious look in his blue eyes made her tense everywhere. Their lips lingered too close for comfort. She could taste his breath, it was sweet from the jelly he'd eaten that morning. They edged closer, neither wanting to back down. Daryl could feel her heart pounding against his chest. He wanted her, so badly. They'd barely touched and he was hard at the thought of it. She was so soft and innocent and feminine, part of him didn't want to ruin her. It would be like dropping a porcelain doll. He leaned forward, gently brushing his lips against hers. She moaned a little, tugging the hair at the nape of his neck. He couldn't do it, he couldn't destroy her like that. She immediately felt lost as he pulled back. In a daze and barely able to breath she followed him out of the store saying nothing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

They returned to the funeral home in silence. The scruffy ol' mutt they'd adopted came bounding towards them as soon as they walked in, jumping up excitedly. Beth ruffled its ears and utilizing the jar of pig's feet still in the hall, lay some scraps on the floor, distracting it. While watching it eat, her heart pounded. She straightened up, turning to Daryl.

"So, what, we're just not going to talk about it?" her voice cut through the tension radiating around them. "Ain't nothin' to talk _about_." He said, glaring at her, his blue eyes flashed in warning. "That's bullshit Daryl! You almost kissed me!" she challenged. "I didn't see you fuckin' stoppin' me!" came his defensive reply. "Oh my God, are you _blind_?!" Beth shouted in frustration. Her reaction only made things worse. Daryl chewed his bottom lip, jaw tensed as he tried to hold back his anger. "I, I want you, can't you see that? Don't, you, you, umm…?" her voice trailed away.

She felt so fuckin' stupid, a man like him would never want her, she was too innocent, too young, and totally inexperienced…

"Of course I _want_ you! What, do you need everythin' set on a golden fuckin' plate for you?!" he sniped, becoming more aggressive. "You're bein' a jerk!" Beth took a step forward, unafraid of his outburst. This was important, she wasn't goin' to let him back out.

He balled his fists, desperately attempting to ignore his thoughts. "If we go there I'ma lose you!" his voice finally cracked. Tears welled in Daryl's eyes, he hated the idea of losing anyone, especially her, the thought of it hurt him somewhere deep inside. "I…" Beth didn't know what to say. "You're all I got left…" he went on. His expression was more raw than she'd ever seen it, his pain made her physically uncomfortable. "I'm not goin' to get lost, I survived, I'm still livin'!" she assured him. He tried to push her away from his body. "I don't wanna be afraid for you, I don't wanna be afraid of _nothin_'!" Daryl shouted, shaking his head like a child. That stung, it made her sound fuckin' incapable. "I can take care of myself!" she threw back, looking at him meaningfully.

The tension around them shattered. Daryl's stance relaxed and Beth bowed her head. "You can't see what I see." She said softly, staring at her muddy boots. "If you knew me back then…" he sighed. "Then _what?_" she asked, her pale pink lips pursed in concern. "You think a prom queen like you would look twice at a red neck ass hole like me?" he demanded, his deep voice full of self hatred. "Stop it! Its about who we are now, you wouldn't have looked at me either." Beth said, gazing at him sadly.

Daryl's lips twitched as if recalling a faded but happy memory. "You think I didn't notice you as soon as I set foot on your dad's fuckin' farm?" he replied, unable to look at her. It made her gasp in disbelief. Back then she'd had the hugest crush on him. "I was with Jimmy, I…" she started regretfully. Daryl looked extremely awkward, he didn't like to think of her with any of the boys she'd dated, he wished they'd never touched her. "Those guys you fucked around with, I kept my distance Beth, what'd you expect?" he growled, beginning to get angry again. "We could've…" she began, trying to calm him. "You know Rick woulda stomped my fuckin' ass." He interrupted.

A wide gap of silence opened between them. It seemed to go on forever. "What do we do now?" Daryl broke in. Their eyes locked, just like they had in the convenience store. "Kiss me Daryl, kiss me…" she whispered. Silence reigned for a long moment. Daryl was aware of seconds slipping by as he wrestled with both guilt and desire, if they did this, if he let himself care, or even love her, he wasn't prepared for the agony of havin' her ripped away from him, but on the other hand, he _wanted _to hold her while she slept, make sure she was strong, and to keep her safe. A grainy, naked image flashed unbidden into his head, him sliding his dick into her… He made his mind up.

Without any more hesitation Daryl stepped forward, pinning Beth firmly against the wall in one quick movement. She could feel his warmth radiating as his lips hovered over hers. His hand gently tilted her chin upwards, forcing her to look up at him. Her breathing was deep and strained, whimpering as she felt him hard in his pants against her stomach. He kissed her passionately, demanding surrender. She'd _never_ been kissed like that before, it made her dizzy to the point of madness. He attacked her neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses on her soft skin before grazing it between his teeth. She moaned, feeling her knees go weak. So many sensations hit her at once, the tingling scratches of his facial hair, the nipping against her neck, the hot wet lashing of his tongue against hers.

She felt moist and slippery between her legs. It was much too intense. Daryl groaned, managing to drag himself away from her. "If we keep goin' I ain't gonna be able to stop…" he rasped, out of breath. Beth's eyes all at once became wide in fear. "What?" he asked, concerned. "Daryl, I, I'm a virgin…"


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Beth pushed past Daryl and ran up the stairs. Leaving him stood blankly in the hallway. She didn't look back. It was stupid and idiotic but shame coursed through her at an unbearable rate. 'Why did I even _say_ that?' she scolded herself internally. God, she needed Maggie's advice, she'd have known what to do. Her sister knew all about men and sex and cocks and stuff… Beth clattered along the landing and shut herself safely in the makeshift bedroom. She sighed, head in her hands.

Pulling off her boots and jeans she launched herself into bed, drawing up the covers around her, muffling out the world. She didn't know how long she'd been sleeping when she eventually found herself in the pitch dark, no matter how she blinked, she could see no further than her own nose. This fact alone did not feel right. Her limbs twitched awkwardly, beyond her control. Feet stumbling over thick clumps of grass, she began to make out faint shapes, coming closer and closer. Try as she might, there was no way to focus, it was as if her eyes were cataract, sheathed in dirt and dust. It was secondary to her sudden hunger. She dropped to her knees, bone's splintering as her weight thudded, still no pain. The human like shapes lay a short way ahead. An unnatural growl ripped its way from her throat. She felt wrong, wanting to be dragged away. Her limbs made no action to retreat. Instead she bared her teeth and sunk them into the still warm feast now beneath her. Liquid iron gushed into her mouth. It was vile, she wanted to be sick, to expel it from her body. Guzzling mouthful after mouthful of raw meat she suddenly realized her eyesight was clear, she looked down slowly and saw a pair of rotten hands ripping chunks of flesh from a dead man's abdomen. It was her father. Beyond him were Maggie and Glenn, Rick, Carl, and the others, all laid in a mangled heap, their bodies eaten away. She stared in horror, trying to scream. Her voice was nothing more than a groan.

Beth woke with a start.

Covered in cold sweat, shock clouded her brain. But she already knew why her dreams were so disturbing. She'd been suppressing all her unanswered questions for days. Where were the others? Were the children safe? Her, her _daddy_… She silently prayed that someone had showed him mercy, ending his suffering. 'And what about Daryl?' her inner monologue whispered. The last few hours came flooding back as she got up. It made her cringe.

She needed a distraction.

A simple full length mirror adorned a space near the window. Beth dressed and walked to it. She was happy to find that she looked nothing like the walker in her nightmare. However, it was still pretty terrible. Her silky blonde hair was lank and straggled, pale skin smudged with dirt. 'Daryl wants to be near this?' she moped, hating her reflection. What could he even see in her?

She cupped her breasts, squeezing them a little. They were still pert handfuls, even without the cute underwear she used to own. Lifting her shirt revealed albeit an unclean yet flat stomach, smooth and pale. It wasn't too bad, she convinced herself. She'd never been very confident about her body, and had always felt that it would let her down.

Remembering the bottles of shampoo she'd picked up at the store Beth went in search of the backpack, shuffling along absentmindedly in her socks. It was downstairs, sitting right where she'd dropped it. Daryl was nowhere in sight, she supposed he was off sulking. Bundling them into her arms she made her way to the bathroom to store them and investigate the possibility of warm water. It was the first door on the landing.

As she turned the handle and walked inside, hot steam caressed her skin. Daryl was in the shower, facing away from her. She dropped the bottles and squealed. Before either of them could react Beth noticed the scars. Angry purple lines cut into his back, scrawled across his wide shoulders, slashed over his spine.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 **

"Fuckin' shit, Beth." Daryl groaned. "You tryina' give me a heart attack?" Beth stood in silence, the shampoo bottles lay mute at her feet. She wished the ground would swallow her up. "I…" she began, watching Daryl attempt to cover himself with a sodden towel he'd grabbed. "Your back…" she whispered again. This made him freeze, all his muscles visibly tensing. "What?" he challenged darkly, staring at her from under his dripping fringe. "The scars on your back…" Beth croaked, her mouth becoming incredibly dry. "I didn't ask you to fuckin' look at me." He replied.

He hated her seeing him like this, stupid and pathetic. It was everything he tried not to be. The way she just stood there, not wanting to come any closer, it confirmed to him how ugly he was. No wonder she'd run away from their kiss. He didn't want to talk about himself, the scars, his dad, the abuse. But he felt that she deserved an explanation. "My dad used to beat the livin' fuck outta me, that what you wanna hear?" Daryl said, much more aggressively than he'd meant to.

The shower was the only noise still echoing around the tiled room. Outside the world was in ruin, but the space between them seemed heavy with palpable meaning, it was extremely human and ever so slightly vulnerable.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…" Beth sniffed, tears threatening to pour down her cheeks. In the quiet she'd imagined him, a small handsome boy, raggedy and sweet. Intense pain crippled her at the notion of him being made to suffer, beaten black and blue until his scars were permanent. Daryl noticed her emotion and mistook it for revulsion. He turned his head, staring at a faint crack in one of the tiles.

"Daryl, I want you to look at me." Beth said, her voice shaking. "I, I know it's not the same, but I'm not perfect either…" she inhaled deeply, closing her eyes, and beginning to pull her shirt over her head. Strangely shaped scars were revealed across her ribs on the left side. Being exposed made her blush, but she wanted to make him feel less alone, to show him he didn't need to be ashamed. With trembling hands she went on to unbutton her jeans, pulling them from her legs, and removing her socks.

She was stood before him wearing only her tiny pink underwear, nipples hard and sensitive against the fabric. The room was spinning uncontrollably as she slipped off her bra and panties. Daryl's eyes lingered on her scars then touched quickly on her slender curves, he bit his bottom lip and gulped nervously.

He couldn't help but stare.

Her breasts were perky handfuls, tipped with erect pink nipples. Daryl's mouth watered, wanting to suck and bite them till she moaned for him. He thanked God that he was still clung to the towel, his dick was growing harder than he'd felt it in a long time. It was becoming difficult to hide. His gaze fell to Beth's crotch, where she stood with her legs almost pinned together, she was trying to hide it from him, but he could still see her soft petite lips. He almost growled with the desire to fuck her, hard.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter**** 9**

"Whut happened?" said Daryl, carefully gesturing to the marks on Beth's ribs. Despite his arousal he noticed once again that she had a steely determination in her eyes. "I was on the farm, I was too young to know barbed wire was dangerous… It's okay, _really_, I can barely remember it." She shrugged. "Ain't never bothered you?" Daryl rasped. "I- kinda had a little trouble at school, from the popular girls, I couldn't exactly change for gym…" came her reply. This knowledge made him angry. "Douchebags." He grumbled.

Beth smiled sadly. "I wasn't a prom queen, like you think, _I was a loser_, just some dork from a backwater farm who went to church every Sunday." She confessed, the strong sensation of her past self finally dripping away. "Well, I think you're…" Daryl began. "_What_? You think I'm what?" Beth enquired, cheeks blushing vibrantly red. "Beautiful…" he finished, looking thoroughly ashamed.

It had become difficult to face her without starin' or lookin' like a prick. 'Get your shit together and grow some _fuckin'_ balls!' he swore to himself.

"C'mere." He tried again, holding out a big calloused hand. She touched his fingers and was pulled into the shower. It made her squeal loudly. "_Man_ you look like you been in the _wars_." Daryl stated as he picked up a fallen bottle of shampoo that had rolled nearby. "_Thanks_!" Beth gasped in mock offense. "H-hey, what're you doin'?" she asked nervously.

Daryl threw away the towel which he'd been clutching and turned her around so that she was facing away from him. He began to wash her hair.

"Wh-what about yours?" Beth stammered, a deep tingling sensation running down her spine and filling her stomach. "You ain't touchin' mine." He warned, a hint of a smile in his voice. His hands were gentle in her hair, softly caressing her scalp. He heard Beth's breathing get deeper. Her palm touched his muscular thigh.

By now Daryl's mind was reeling, barely able to believe that she might want it, want _him_…

The slippery shampoo allowed his hands to slide to the base of her neck where he massaged the tense flesh. Beth moaned softly. Her nails dug into his skin. She could feel something warm and hard brushing against the bottom of her back. Her body ached almost painfully. "I want you to teach me." She said suddenly, voice shaking a little. "Teach you whut?" he replied, watching her turn to him and get down on her knees. "How to make you feel good." she whispered, the hot water pouring down her back.


	10. Chapter 10

_(Warning, explicit_ _content)_

**Chapter 10 **

They didn't know quite how they'd got here. They didn't even know where here was. It was such a huge leap of faith. One day they'd watched the world turn upside down and rip its own insides out, the next their position was thoroughly compromised, drenched in steam and warmth, maybe even falling in love faster than they could breath.

"I, I can't…" Daryl groaned, leaning back against the cool tiles. Beth looked up at him, her blue eyes pleading. "Please…" she urged, as her small hand gently gripped the base of his erection.

She found herself in awe of his size, how plump the head of his penis was, the way a few veins stood out beneath the velvety skin. Her gaze followed the length of his gradually thickening shaft, she gulped nervously. When her friends used to talk about boys they'd never mentioned feeling so extremely feminine and overwhelmed.

Daryl couldn't speak. He was having an immense moralistic internal struggle, the like of which he'd never had in his life. He knew she was a virgin and was pretty fuckin' sure Beth had never done this before. It was obvious just by the way she was lookin' at it. On one hand he didn't want to ruin her, she was so beautiful and innocent, even her scars were untouched by the full horrors of existence. On the other he wondered how her sweet mouth would feel eagerly sucking him.

All at once Beth's pink tongue poked out from between her lips and carefully licked the pre-cum from the head of his cock. Guiltily he gave in to his irresistibly primal desire. "Open that mouth." He said, a definite commanding edge to his voice. Beth did as she was told, excitement thrilling through her.

Daryl reached out and stroked his big hand through the silky wet hair at the back of her head, grasping it lightly. He let her taste him, sucking tentatively on the plump head. "You sure?" he asked, still fiercely protective. "Mmm-hmmm…" Beth mumbled, mouth increasingly full of cock. "Fuck." He groaned, feeling her answer vibrate around his foreskin.

Slowly at first he guided her motions, pushing her head back and forth. She started to gag as she took him deeper. As soon as he touched the back of her tongue Beth's eyes watered. She panicked, wondering if this was normal, if the women he'd had before were better than her…

She forced his length as deep into her throat as she could, feeling naughtily proud when it elicited guttural moans from him. Saliva ran down her chin to be washed away by droplets of hot water. "Should I, umm, rub it?" she asked, becoming more confident. Daryl nodded. He hadn't said anything for a while.

Beth pumped his shaft inexpertly, looking up at him once again. She noticed he was breathing harder than before, moaning as her hand moved faster. She was about to put his cock to her lips when he spoke up. "Beth, Beth, I, I'mma cum. You don't have to…" Daryl whispered, his breathing ragged. "No, I want to…" she challenged, feeling powerful and sexy for a moment. She blushed wildly, having never felt sexy in all her years. "In your mouth?" he replied, a cold and erotic darkness appearing in his heavy lidded eyes. "Please…" Beth uttered again, opening up meaningfully. As the place between her legs started to drip, it was the first time she'd ever felt submissive. He was so masculine that it made her ache for him.

Daryl fucked her beautiful mouth unapologetically, his soul seemed to have floated away, out of his body in ecstasy. He couldn't compare her to any woman he'd ever known, barely able to believe she was letting him have this time with her. He'd never been worth anything, but with Beth, he was starting to feel special.

With a final few strokes he spurted his warm semen into her mouth. He felt her tense unexpectedly then swallow, looking on as she wrinkled her cute nose.

Immediately the doubts crashed back down on him, his demons tearing in once again. Crippling guilt smacked against him. He was a bad person. He'd soiled someone pure and good. Ruined her with his filth. The sensation was disgusting, folks like him weren't meant to feel special, or, or, like anything really.

"Daryl?" Beth said, concern etched into her features.

Daryl snatched up the clothes he'd tucked away near a disused radiator, backing away from her. "I, I'm sorry." He whispered, his deep voice cracking as he left the room.


	11. Chapter 11

_(I want to thank you guys for all the support so far, I'm going to be picking up this story where we left off, and may we mourn our girl Beth Greene, her character will live on through our writing. - Laura)_

**Chapter 11**

Daryl bounded down the expansive creaking stairs, tears welling in his eyes, hating himself.

Fuckin' asshole. Pathetic prick. Worthless sonofabitch.

That shouldn't have been Beth's first experience with a man.

More than that, Daryl couldn't forgive himself for enjoying her mouth on him.

Seeing her like that, wanting him, on her knees, was the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid eyes on, but he'd sworn in his mind that he was the one person who should be protecting her now.

'I'mma fuckin' piece a shit.' He berated himself while he changed back into his clothes.

All the people who'd ever known him were damn right, he was a waste of space. A failure. A runt. Lil piggy who ain't never had a home.

His chest ached and he tried consciously to slow his breathing. He knew he felt at home with Beth, being near her was right. It was almost unbelievable that she might want to be with him that way, any way, but he'd probably fucked that up too.

He'd ruined what they could have had, and was pretty goddamn sure Beth would never want his ugly scarred up ass near her again.

It meant a lot that she'd shown him her own wounds, it gave him the impression that in some small way she understood, though he couldn't deny that the guy's she'd dated before were young pretty-boys who'd more than likely been on sports team's in their high school days and driven an Audi. Not like him, no girl wants to be seen with the freak who looks like he lives in the woods and has a brother who gets high at noon.

Daryl sat down heavily in the hallway a little way from the stairs and began to calm slightly, rubbing the moisture from his eyes with large trembling hands.

He tried to ignore his nagging thoughts.

A part of him wished he hadn't run out on her, yet if he'd stayed, things would have gone much further.

He had to protect her, even from his own primal desires. She was so good and gentle and sweet, he couldn't take that innocence from her, especially now that the world so easily stole purity away.

It made him question his strength, not knowing if he'd be able to keep her from harm. He realised what it would mean. Even if he needed her, he could never reach out and hold her, if he felt lost he could never brush his lips against hers, if he wanted to make her feel him he would never be able to slide inside deeply.

He closed his eyes tightly for a long moment, head spinning at the idea of a world where he had to care, maybe even love her from afar.

Coping with a rotting Earth populated mostly by the dead was one long nightmare, but not being close to his Beth wasn't worth imagining, he'd rather be one of the fuckin' walkers.

He'd spent so long focusing on surviving, going along with Rick's constant endeavour to fortify, being careful not to overstep Hershal's boundaries where Beth was concerned, to avoid complication and keep right on fighting, keep running, if it hurts don't turn back…

He'd forgotten that there was anything else. Surviving and living were two different things, only now he was being forced to choose.


End file.
